FORGIVENESS: What is it?

FORGIVENESS [l] Sis Dupe

The term forgiveness comes from the Greek word aphiemi, which means “to let go, to give up, to keep no longer.”

When Jesus forgives us, our sins, trespasses, iniquities, and transgressions are wiped off the records. We are free and He will never hold them against us.

(Psalm 103:12 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west”).

To use a financial illustration, forgiveness is God shredding the documents that list our debts.

According to the dictionary definition, forgiveness is “giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me”.

It is impossible to live on this fallen planet without getting hurt, offended, misunderstood, lied to and rejected. Learning how to respond properly is one of the basics of the Christian life.

The word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. When we wrong someone, we seek his or her forgiveness in order for the relationship to be restored.

Forgiveness is not granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. No one deserves to be forgiven.

Forgiveness is an act of love, mercy, and grace. Forgiveness is a DECISION not to hold something against another person, DESPITE what they have done to you.

It is the old nature that makes us not to want to forgive those who have wronged us whereas the new nature is fashioned after Jesus Christ who forgave us all our wrongs. The Bible tells us that we are all in need of forgiveness from God.

We have all committed sin. Ecclesiastes 7:20 proclaims, “There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins.” 1 John 1:8-9 (NLT) says, “If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all wickedness”.

Sin is ultimately an act of rebellion against God. As a result, we desperately need God’s forgiveness. If our sins are not forgiven, we will spend eternity suffering the consequences of our sin.

God is loving and merciful – eager to forgive us of our sins! 2 Peter 3:9 tells us, “…He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

God desires to forgive us, so He provided for our forgiveness.
Romans 6:23 Eternal death is what we deserved for our sins but God, in His perfect plan became human (Jesus Christ) and made His home among us (John 1:1,14). He died on the cross, taking the penalty that we deserve – death. 2 Corinthians 5:21, 1 John 2:2. His death provided forgiveness for the sins of the entire world. He rose from the dead, proclaiming His victory over sin and death (1 Corinthians 15:1-28).

Jesus declares the reason for His birth, death, and resurrection—to provide the way to heaven for sinful mankind, who could never get there on their own. No wonder He said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8–9), Acts 13:38, Ephesians 1:7

You can’t earn forgiveness from God neither can you pay for your forgiveness from God. YOU CAN ONLY RECEIVE IT BY FAITH THROUGH THE GRACE AND MERCY OF GOD. The responsibility we have as children of God is to extend this same grace to our fellow men when they offend us.

The act of UNFORGIVENESS IS A SIN. (Romans 6:14-23 NLT).
Proverbs 24:17 says “Don’t rejoice when your enemies fall; don’t be happy when they stumble.
Heb. 12:14 admonished us to “work in living in peace with everyone and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.”

Mark 11:25 – But when you are praying, forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins too”.

Ephesians 4:32 – “be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

How do you deal with lingering hurts?
a. Understand the Spirit you received through salvation;

b. Learn to forgive and forget just as you have been forgiven; and

c. Just let go.

d. Keep believing and it gets better over time.

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FORGIVENESS [II] Sis Joke

Forgiveness
-An act of total surrender of our will to God’s perfect Will

It is important we start from the beginning. The whole essence of the human existence is based on forgiveness. And this requires that every right thinking human being must be sensitive to the consciousness of his/her guilt. This is probable what King David the Psalmist realized when he declared in Psalm 130: 4 –that there is forgiveness with God that He may be feared…

By definition, forgiveness is described as: “the intentional and voluntary process by which a person on the receiving end of an offense, hurt or in the Christian parlance, wrongly accused (or persecuted), undertakes a change in feelings and attitudes regarding a wrong done to him/her; and then, lets go of the negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.

This means that the word forgiveness, signifies the readiness on the part of an individual that he/she wants a relationship with the other person (or people), mended, based only on the love of Jesus Christ regardless of what they had done to you either in the distant or recent past.

Coming to Daniel 9: 9 -The Bible makes us to comprehend the importance of confessing our sins, as well as that of those we love, if we must seek the Lord God in reverential fear as we hope that He answers the petitions we desire of Him.

With these, we are made to realize that the entire theme of God in relating with us, His creatures, is such that –if we must find His mercy, we must confess our sins/guilt and seek His forgiveness so that no gulf will hinder or separate us from freely approaching unto Him. And then, we can also have our prayers answered as we remain consciously in His fear.

Studies have shown over the years that there are individuals who find it hard to forgive themselves of the silliness of their past lives. For example: A young man, let’s say Smith, did some wild things in the course of youthful exuberance. Then, at about age 23years, he met with Christ who forgives Smith based on his ignorance and washes him clean of the past record. God is no longer expecting Smith to go and undo his past because humanly speaking that is impossible. However, after his conversion and acceptance of Christ, the young man Smith is seen wishing over and over he had not been so stupid to have done all he did before he met Christ… Attitudes as this are now needless with our new life in Christ.

In the same way, if there were other people in our lives, like our fathers, mothers, siblings, immediate or extended family members, school or office friends, and indeed, anyone that had offended or hurt us deeply in time past before we met Jesus Christ; just as our Saviour forgives us freely without demanding any payback; we are also expected to forgive and pardon all men and women we hitherto had in our black-books. However, many often find this a difficult task to do.
Now, this brings us into the New Testament grace where we see that forgiveness is and remains God’s central theme in dealing with us. Forgiveness here becomes the miracle of a new beginning, starting on from the point we are at conversion to the full embrace of the holy life of Christ. From this point, God begins a friendship with us as Jesus takes away instantly –Acts 17: 30 –our past sins, excusing us as having done those wrongs at the time of ignorance –as He believed that we could barely know what we were doing, back then.

And as this new relationship progressed, God expects us to begin to understudy the ‘rules’ guarding our new life trends and to as well, begin to apply ourselves to this new life. The Ruler of this new life is clearly our Lord Jesus Christ -Acts 5: 31 –and with Him championing the course/cause of our new walk in life, we are expected in every detail, to do what He does, one of which is ‘forgiveness of sins’… As we receive this forgiveness that ushers us into the newness of life, the Lord also expects us to look into our individual past to forgive our own selves, as well as other people too.

Sadly many often, we miss our steps despite walking with Christ and following after His footsteps. He forgives us, not holding anything against us. So, we too, as we meet new sets of families and friends, whom we barely know so well, must forgive them. The question then is, how do we forgive one another amid a swamp of –false accusations, lies, misinformation, gross unforgiveness, malicious treatments, cheatings, denials and all ungodliness that can be listed?

Again, this puts on us the responsibility to seek out what the Bible is saying to us in -Acts 13: 38 –Here, we must understand that our obtaining forgiveness from Jesus, did not come cheap. It costs Him everything He represents –from being the divine God to a common man, just to acquit us from all our stains and guilt and make us acceptable to God – Luke 23: 34.

Being acceptable in God’s sight turn us from darkness into the glorious Light of Christ –Acts 26: 18 –from Satan to God, fully pardoned and then, grants us rich inheritance in God. And so, Luke 12: 47-48; Ephesians 1: 7-9; Colossians 1: 14 –becomes a conscious watchword for the believer following closely in the steps of our Lord Jesus Christ. We are now without excuse in the ways we comport and conduct our life’s activities. God expects us to do what is right and distantly avoid the wrongs. Our complete duty is to zealously do His will. Yet, we are burdened with the challenges of our flesh which constantly conflicts with the divine laws of the Holy Spirit of God. And whether we like it or not, contentions will be stirred, members of our household of faith and families may pose as (but they are not), our worst foes, yet we are duty-bound to ensure that God is glorified.

With this challenge starring us in the face, we must hasten our steps back to God – Isaiah 44: 22 –if we have been cleared of the past and heaven gate is opened to us, the present sins of unforgiveness might threaten a storm of His wrath. It is certain we all don’t want to imagine such. So, we begin to seek for His grace to forgive and be a forgiving person because we cannot do it by our wishful thinking or will power. We need a life of consistent and concerted prayers. In addition to this, we seek for the grace to practice advance forgiveness.

This is because forgiveness is our reward for the love God has for us as Jesus demonstrated in –Luke 7: 47-49 -to a woman considered to have committed the greatest sins, being “caught in the act” as her accusers noted. But Jesus Christ, our Sun of Righteousness and mercy in motion, with His love disposition and compassion, blots out her transgression and clears her of all accusation. Thereafter, she obtained an inner peace that eventually enabled her to record the ‘Alabaster Box Precious Ointment’ memorial –Matthew 26: 7; Mark 14: 3 and Luke 7: 37.

So also, forgiveness frees our hearts towards one’s neighbour and brings peace to our relationships. With God’s help, we can be merciful to others as our Heavenly Father is merciful to us -Matthew 25:31-46 with respect to what He did for us when He travailed for our sins –Luke 22: 44 –enduring our contradictions as sinners –Hebrews 12: 3 ¬–when a people He was suffering for were sleeping on Him –also depicting our spiritual sleepy state when we do contrary to His will and fail to forgive others. Importantly, we also must approach others always in mercy and be open to the reality of living by the law of God’s love that we have received and has been keeping us through our lives.

The more this realization dawns on us, the more we get quickened by Christ’s grace – Colossians 2: 13 –and we begin to exercise our reasonable faculties to grasp rewarding understanding of the works of God. This will make us to seek what the Bible calls the ‘circumcision of our hearts’ –Romans 2: 29; Romans 4: 11; Colossians 2: 11; Ephesians 1: 7 –these scriptures expose us to the regenerating grace of our Lord Jesus that will always lead us to seeking His interest and will above self-interests. We become a true believer with obedient heart to God’s commands.

Remember, -Ephesians 4: 32 and Colossians 3: 13 –are not suggestions. They are God’s commands to us as followers of Christ and we are demanded to obey in full. God knows that people –past and present –would hurt or offend us, yet He says we must forgive as He forgives us continually and allow Him have the sway. And applying our hearts to His grace, where necessary, daily asking for His forgiveness and praying Him to enable us to forgive others will lead us gradually to attain a level of Christian maturity-as we allow His rich word dwell in our hearts –Colossians 3: 16 –instead of selfishly thinking on the wrongs of others. In fact, the more we do that, we more we too, offend God. It simply means we do not have confidence in His forgiving grace.

So, we must obey God’s command to forgive –Matthew 18: 21-35; Mark 11: 25-26; Luke 6: 37; Luke 17: 3-4; Ephesians 4: 32 –regardless of the number of times (70×7 =490)… This means that, as many times as we are offended/hurt daily, we must forgive. And it is not possible for anyone to hurt us 490 times in a day. So, what the Lord means is that, we must receive His grace not to hold on to any grudge beyond a few minutes/seconds where possible. The danger here is that, it is not enough to pretend to people that we have forgiven those who offend/hurt us; God sees our hearts and knows whether we tell the truth or not. As such, if our forgiveness is not genuine from our heart, we stand the risk of ending up in hell fire, no matter how many years we follow Jesus. Disobedience to God is not taken lightly. So, we must truly forgive others. If we do not forgive others, God said He too, will not forgive us -Matthew 18: 35.

Now, my understanding of a mature Christian is not someone who always gets it right. No! A mature Christian is someone who has experienced the forgiveness of God and has learned to pay it forward. He/she has had time and experience to trust the forgiving grace of Christ by meditating consistently on God’s word, and hides them jealously in his/her heart and lives them out at every appropriate opportunity.

Even after we have accepted Christ Jesus and following His word, we must be quick to accept that we may still err and need His forgiveness and we must be prompt in asking God to forgive us – Mathew 6: 12-15, 1st John 1: 9.

From personal experiences, many believers daily enjoy the Benefits of Forgiveness and Being a forgiving Christian. One of such is the blessedness of having a beautiful heart that endears one to God –Psalm 32: 2, Matthew 5: 1-16; Luke 6:20-22 and Romans 4: 5. It is also proven that whatever such a person asks from God is quickly rewarded –Psalm 18: 20, 24 and Psalm 24: 4 and James 4: 8.

But as beautiful as this is, there is yet a very dangerous trend which is: The unforgivable act –Matthew 12: 31-32; Mark 3: 28-29; Mark 4: 12; Luke 12: 10 –if we dare disregard the divine Personality of God or blaspheme, that is, to treat Him with impious/sinful reverence. This is one aspect we all must guard sensitively against. Due to having suffered so many things considered ‘not right’ (but who determines what is right or wrong? Only God!); then, Christians unconsciously develop a hardened heart of unbelief towards God –Luke 8: 13 and Hebrews 3: 12 –among others.

Empowered us to forgive: We must always remember that only God can give us this enablement for the fact that even when we claim to forgive others as God forgives us, we know that often the hurt we had initially felt replays itself in our hearts, especially when we sight the perceived offenders. Yet, it is very important as the Bible notes in the listed verses -Luke 11: 4-; 2nd Corinthians 2: 7, 10.

Blessings of Forgiveness -1st John 2: 12 –It is truly a blessedness to live a forgiven life. In fact, we now live a free life of being a bunch sin-burden free people, not because we necessarily beg for it or deserve it; but because our LORD JESUS CHRIST freely chose to forgive us. As such, we are not expected to do any less to our fellow brother, sisters, families, friends, associates and acquaintances, no matter how we view their offences. It is GOD’s command. And we must obey and forgive.

Wellness of Forgiveness –It is sad that many Christians live in illness with so many health burdens in their daily lives that they are so oblivious of the fact that, if they can truly forgive, their health will be speedily restored. This is scientifically proven that bitterness and unforgiveness leads to a myriad of health defects. Therefore, forgiveness frees us from the weights of sickness, illness or whatever plagues us as we receive not only healing, but total wholeness to our spiritual lives and physical wellness –Matthew 9: 2, 5-6; Mark 2: 5, 9-10; Luke 5: 23-24 and James 5: 15.

Forgiveness releases us –Both the offender and the offended get set free from their hearts –John 8: 36. When our hearts are free of any form of unforgiveness, it is easier for us to reach freely unto GOD and to enjoy fellowship unhindered with HIM. See the example of Joseph –Genesis 50: 17 –despite all they did to him.

Forgivers Love truly –In Christianity, preachers glowingly celebrate the feat achieved by Stephen, stoned to death, yet with his last breadth, displayed a heart like our Lord Jesus Christ. –Acts 70: 59-60 –and forgave completely his offenders. Today, how many of us can so forgive others? Rather, we act wiser than our Holy God despite the fact that none of us has been so terribly offended. We exaggerate irrelevant differences to the point of asking God to go contrary to His divine will by asking Him to ‘kill’ those He died for, wants alive to save and use for His purpose –John 3: 16. With God’s help however, we can pray for and receive a true loving heart from God and go on, forgiving one another quite often so that the power promised us by our Lord Jesus Christ to us can be duly manifested in our homes, Churches and entire nations, as true sons of God –Jeremiah 31: 34. Daily, it is important for us to ask God for forgiveness and as well begged God to forgive our perceived offenders.

Forgiveness is divine –When we understand this fact -1st John 4: 9-10 –Colossians 3: 13 –we will appreciate better the import of God sending His Son for our forgiveness. So, we will cash-in on His rich grace to grant us the ability to forgive others as He has done for us. Then, we will all be pleasing to the Lord if indeed and strive to completely obey Him. After all, we are to live for His pleasure –Revelations 4: 11 –not ours.

Important Prayer –FATHER, please forgive me for hurting others so much and for my selfishness of dwelling only on what others had done to hurt me. Thank YOU for helping us to heal our relationships and for loving us in ways we can never comprehend in JESUS’ Name, Amen!

Peace be unto us all, Amen!!!

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FORGIVENESS [III] Sis Toma

The ‘Pains’ of Forgivness AND the ‘Gains’ of Unforgiveness

1.I have used the picture above to illustrate unforgiveness. The wrestler who is on top of the other one is expending MORE energy to hold the other one down to ensure he does not get up. In the process he is also DOWN and will remain down as long as he keeps the other man down.

This can be likened to what happens when we hold people in unforgiveness. The person or people who wronged us are down quite alright, and clearly deserve to be after all; they hurt us in imaginable ways and they may still be hurting us presently. No matter what we do, they just keep hurting us and the hurt does not seem to go away. When you hold someone in unforgiveness, you give them control over your heart, your emotions and your feelings unconsciously and ultimately they become your god or an idol you worship.

So what do we do typically when people offend us?

1. Like the wrestler on top of the other one, we hold them down in our hearts and indirectly wish God will punish them on our behalf to justify the hurt or wrongs they have caused us. As such when we hear that something bad happens to them, we rejoice inwardly thinking God has ‘answered’ our prayers. After all His word says in Ephe 3: 20 “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”

The scripture quoted above is very true but is quoted out of context.

The right scripture to apply in this case would have been Matt 5:44 ‘But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.’

2. We look for suitable scriptures to justify our emotions and ‘read our greed into God’s creed’ 2

I have personally struggled with the issue of unforgiveness for years especially while growing up even after I gave my life to Christ.
My favourite scripture was Rom 12: 19b For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Berean Study Bible). I would typically joke about this part of scripture with my friends, that what God was saying was that vengeance was mine and so the scripture naturally tied in with the slogan ‘revenge is a dish best served when hot’.

I walked in this bondage for years as this scripture formed a stronghold for everything I did especially with those who hurt me. I would read
Romans 12: 19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord. The part I highlighted is what would register in my mind as I ‘waited’ for God to ‘punish’ my ‘perceived enemies’.

I also wrongly interpreted the scripture in
Rom12:20 “BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.”…
To me the coal of fire was being heaped up so it can consume my adversaries someday. So whenever I heard any evil report about my ‘enemies’ it just served them right for offending me. After all it was God who was ‘avenging’ me.

It was not until God took me through the process of renewal of my mind using
Rom 12:1- 2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

I began to allow God work out HIS will in me and I began to better understand the place of forgiveness. Then Iunderstood that loving people unconditionally required the same sacrifice as forgiving people. I then began to make allowances for the shortcomings of people and gradually forgiveness was no longer a struggle but became a lifestyle.
God taught me also using Gal 5: 22-23 that the fruit of the Spirit was love which was manifested in all the other attributes.

Forgiveness gets better with practise and your forgiving is not condoning what wrong was done to you but giving yourself the opportunity as well as the offender the opportunity to be free.

Bottom-line is that like the wrestler, you can choose as long as you want to hold the person down while you remain down or just keep forgiving and not giving the opportunity to anyone to become god in your life.

Prayer point:
Dear Lord Jesus, grant me the grace to ALWAYS forgive no matter how deep it hurts. Help me see everyone through your eyes and as such teach me to love in the true meaning of the word. When offenses come, help me to truly LET GO AND LET YOU.

Reference

1. Assessed online fromhttp://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/wrestling/4792394/Kurt-Angle-is-furious-that-wrestling-has-been-cut-from-the-Olympic-Games.html

2. Quoted from sermon by Pastor Tunde Bakare of the Latter Rain Assembly

“I shall pass through this world but ONCE, so whatever DIFFERENCE I can MAKE, I will do it NOW, because I will not pass through THIS WAY AGAIN”